Holy guacamole! It has been way way way too long since I have updated this thing. And much has happened since then. Amanthus' belly seems to be gaining in size and roundness on a daily basis. She's about 20 weeks and a few days now. Originally we wanted to wait to find out the sex of the baby until he/she showed her/his little face, mainly due to concerns about ultrasound technology's effect on the developing lil' bugger. However, after our last meeting with the midwives, we decided that the benefit and peace of mind outweighed the risks and dangers. The midwives recommended a good-natured, if a little aloof, doctor.
As he was translating all the moving grey blobby granules into internal organs, a bigger picture emerged. It was amazing to see little fingers and toes, wiggling baby arms and legs. For most of the ultrasound, I had to take the doc's word about what we were seeing, but there were times that things came together and I could see entire parts of the baby's body. The most clear was the skeletal system, a tiny spinal column and 10 little fingers. As I stared slack-jawed at the screen, the doctor also made an important announcement: "Oh, wait a sec...There's his penis!" Boy oh boy! That was quite the surprise!
Amanthus' best guess, until that moment, was that we were going to have a beautiful little baby girl, and that we would name her Luscia. Time for a little change in plans! Although afterwards, it took us a little time to shift paradigms, we were both really excited that everything seems to be developing into perfectly healthy baby (boy)! Amanthus was really excited to braid hair and pick out cute dresses, and I think it's better that we know now rather than waiting until he is ready to come into the world. Yes, we definitely will have to figure out a different name for him. Ira? Avery? Oscar? Ezra? Lucas? Oliver? Luckily, we still have some time to figure it out. More than anything, it expanded my mind further into fatherhood, driving home the miraculous nature of this emerging life. I am so happy that I am a father and have been blessed with such a lovely, beautiful family.
And here they are at 20 weeks!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Well, I find myself jettisoned down the path of new fatherhood, which will officially begin some time in late July, early August. Although it's still about 6 months until the baby will be born, the "dad" switch has been flipped on many weeks ago, releasing a cocktail of feelings, hormones, some of which include a new drive to learn how to fix things and to hoard mass quantities of chicken broth (to provide for the family in case of catastrophic global food shortages).
While it is easy to slip straight into the subject of the impending little one, the story really begins with my departure from the blissful, thought-provoking, adolescent purgatory of college. While I learned much at Hampshire, and still nurture those dear friendships, Asheville has brought me much joy. The mountains, trees, rivers, and critters of Appalachia have brought a sense of balance to my life, as I find myself with numerous ways in which to interact with nature. And most profoundly, my relationship with Amanthus has deepened. We've settled in pretty naturally with each other, and after all the waiting of a long-distance relationship we finally had the chance to live together and get to know one another. And get to know one another we did. This August, we bought a house together, I proposed to her and we plan to be married one of these days after the baby is born.
The prospect of becoming the caretaker of a little life, has, humor aside, brought about some major changes. I feel a sense of clarity in the strong purpose of raising a child and providing a home for it, and I'm beginning to feel the weight of meaning and responsibility it entails. In addition to an increased proficiency in housekeeping skills, I have been fueled by the desire to create healthy and delicious meals to nurture the family. I have an increased drive towards healthy living, as well as creating an environment that is inspiring not only on the physical but also emotional and spiritual spectrums. I did have a couple days of freaking out, believing I'd have to suddenly drop all of my hobbies and isolate myself from my friends. But doubt soon gave way to an immense excitement and focus to create goodness.
Amanthus is at the start of her 12th week of being pregnant right now, so we're about to enterthe second trimester! Holy guacamole! Hopefully the intense fatigue and nausea she has been experiencing will wear off soon. She's been a trooper. For now, we're just taking it one step at a time and visualizing a healthy pregnancy and birth. More later,